Sunday, January 1, 2017

Bringing the year to a close

Hello everyone, I know it's been a LONG time since my last post...and here it is...the only post of 2016...First, this past year has been full of firsts and lasts in my life, some public, some private.  As I sit here just before midnight on New Year's Eve, sharing my chair with 2 scared dogs, I was thinking about a few things.  This year is ending on a different note, I don't have that "I'm done with 2016" feeling. What I'm feeling is "let's continue with the good and leave behind the bad". True, the end of the year can feel like a good time for an ending and beginning but we should never wait until the first day of the year to start something new or good that will benefit us or the ones we love.

For those of you who I don't see or are not Facebook friends of mine, I'll share a few quick updates...I'm coming up on 2 years at a job I really like that I feel suits my personality and skills.  I have a great church family and I love the ministry that I'm serving in.  I've managed to do a handful of 5ks, 10ks and half marathons this year thanks to a group called Black Girls Run and an extra supportive smaller running group with my bestie, Jessica. I have a GREAT boyfriend, John, who is supportive and my family members are all doing well. I decided to go back to school for something that I love....interior design. Don't get this confused with Interior Decorating.  Interior Design deals with everything from the size and shape of the structure/room to lighting, textures, furniture, electrical layout...all the details.

In 2017, I want to continue to better my health, live in a way that others know they matter and that I care and to continue on the path of finding what God has for me.  I don't want to come to the end of 2017 with the "let's hurry up and be done" attitude...I'm looking forward to what's in store in 2017.

I'm going to ask everyone, if you would like to be removed from this distribution list, just let me know...the posts are probably not going to be as long, but I'm going to try and do one once a month..You all know I'm NOT in favor of sending stuff if you don't want it.

Also you can follow my business page "Mind of a Ladybug" on Facebook, or view my Etsy store....it may not be up much longer since I will be looking to do a website this year....I have a whole 365 days to get it together...lol.  There are only a FEW items listed on Etsy since most of the stuff I do it custom made...but you can view pics of pretty much all my work on the facebook page.

Well, that's it for now...and for 2016, see you all next year!

Friday, June 12, 2015

Fear and Optimism

Lately, some of the people I come into contact with have been experiencing fear with certain issues.  Whether they are related to the workplace, family, relationships, health or finances it does not matter. They have had a gripping fear of things not turning out right, becoming hostile or not having enough to cover their needs. The fear did not just show up one day but more than likely has been accumulating over time. Most of the people have a relationship with Christ so they know that He will provide, but it does not stop them from having those feelings of doubt creep up and overwhelm them at times. It is natural for us to be overwhelmed by the unknown and worry about what may or may not happen but we have to remember that God DOES hear us...and will provide our needs...notice I did not say wants...but needs...that is a whole separate blog...moving along.

I have known that I am optimistic for a good while now...I know, major surprise to you all. Now this does not mean that I do not get discouraged, sad or worry about anything. What it means is that my default is that the glass is always half full...with room for more. I have had people ask me why am I so happy or why am I always giving the benefit of doubt? It is because I make the choice to be happy. When I get down about situations, I try not to stay in that funk.  I think the situation over, then find healthy ways to put my energy into use. It is not easy but it can be done. Many of you know that at one point I was married. Unfortunately, I divorced. That was definitely a sad time in my life, but I had to keep repeating to myself that life goes on, God still is in control of my life...and I was still alive and healthy. For me, channeling my energy into more productive things meant starting my blog and my business...which I cannot be more happy about. Now while I am an optimistic person, this does not mean that I am one of those all day happy, blissful, walk-around-cheesin-all-day kind of people (although it is not uncommon for me to smile), my mom can vouch for me not being a morning person. :-) Happiness and optimism can go hand in hand but they are not always simultaneous.

Optimism is keeping, realizing, maintaining the outlook that things will get better.

I can talk to someone when they are down and encourage them but something I will not do is invalidate their feelings.  Obviously, they feel the way they do for a reason because of their circumstances...and initially the last thing they want is rational advice.  Sometimes it is just a listening ear. Being present with someone may be all they need to remind them that physically they are not alone, which can calm their nerves.  Sometimes the ONLY accomplishment I have in a conversation with someone who is fearful is to get them to acknowledge that God is in control, which plants a seed of optimism in their mind.  It may not grow, but remembering that is a good enough start. Many people (including me) sometimes find it hard to see how God is there when we cannot see Him.  Sure, we can get signs of His presence through things around us and other people, but it is not the same reassurance. Now I have come across some people that just refuse to see a positive outlook...they are bent on only seeing the bad (pessimists)...I have found that I cannot have those people in my inner circle of friends...I may be friends/acquaintances with them, but when the rubber meets the road, I know that I need positivity around me, cause if not, worry and FEAR can easily creep in (and also DRAMA). 

Okay, so how DO you maintain optimism? Believe me, it is an everyday task...throughout the day, Satan, the Devil, Fate (or what ever you call it) can bring things to your mind to remind you that you are not perfect, that situations are too great for God to handle, they are never going to end....and anything you do will be of no help....and you have to remind yourself that it is not true. My favorite verse is Isaiah 43:2-3 and it reminds me that no matter where I go God is with me. God keeps me safe at times when I do not realize I am in danger (and at times when I do), He watches over me and protects me.  With that in mind, I have no logical reason to NOT be optimistic.  I already know hands down that he is covering the tougher situations that I cannot handle whether it is health, finances or family issues.  All I can do is my part....and if that means relying on Him, then that is what I do.

Life is too short to live under the constant cloud of worry, regret, fear and the like.  They will silently paralyze you and drip the joy out of your life...You will find yourself wondering why nothing good ever happens to you or why life is so hard.  You will not even realize how much TIME you spend being negative or fearful...and that time does add up.  The next time you are presented with a tough situation, remind yourself that life changes and that is okay.  We will go through good and bad times, happy and sad days, days of overflow and days of lack.... Refusing to give up is the first step...God said to cast all your cares on him...let Him "worry"/handle things for you....when you can do this, fear easily subsides and ceases.

"Just as the size of the mind of a ladybug is to me, so are my insecurities, heartaches and trials to God.  He is so much bigger than they are...Oh to let go and be secure and happy in God."

Roschelle

Sunday, June 7, 2015

Things of Importance...

Over time, I've realized a few things that are important to me... and not in any particular order...some are serious some are not...but all are good.

God made you a certain way, don't fight it.  He gave you a personality, a personal touch, a point of view.  As long as you keep it aligned with what HE has for your life, you won't go wrong.

A hot bath with essential oils goes a long way...easy way to relax.

Guys with poor/vulgar vocabulary need not approach me, save us both the trouble. It's one thing to NOT know the word you're looking for, it's another to fill it in with an expletive as a general term. Very few people have language that is 100% clean (no anger, envy, lust,etc.) all the time, but the least you can do is make it not offensive (not just to God, but to my ears as well).

When people show you who they are, believe them....even if it's in the first 5 minutes of meeting them.  Don't think "oh, maybe they're like this cause I'm meeting them in the middle of ___".  This goes hand in hand with: Don't act fake with people.  Don't butter up what you say to get them to like you any better....if you do, the real you may be a disappointment.

I have a good group of support from my girls a.k.a. female friends, but within that group there are different circles....and there's nothing wrong with that...not ALL my girls are going to meet each other. Don't expect that all of your friends will be cut from the same cloth as well.

Enjoying silence with someone is a good thing. Talking isn't the only way to communicate. Quality time is another way to.

If you believe firmly in something, find ways to help that cause/address that issue, don't sit idly by and let "someone" do it, cause then "nobody" will.

When someone feels like they are not priority with you, ask yourself why? Or better yet, see where your time is spent, cause that is one thing you only get to spend once.

Embracing all the details about yourself is one of the most liberating things....

I do have a thing for skirts and dresses...my girls know they will HARDLY EVER see me in pants...but on the upside, whoever I date/marry won't have to worry about me never wanting to dress up for anything. :-)

If you are honest with people 100% you won't have any lies to remember...

I meet a LOT of people...and as much as I try, I DO forget names...don't go running off getting offended....if I have to ask your name, that means I DO want to talk to you again...and would rather call you by your name than "hey you".

Taking time to read your Bible is important....I don't care if it's a physical book, e-reader version or a downloaded app on your phone....read it....it hasn't changed in YEARS for a good reason...obviously cause it's the correct thing to read....

Cherish your loved ones.....even if it's just a text, phone call, card.....let them know you love them....when they cross your mind, let THEM know. Don't just think,  "oh, I wonder how they are doing..."

It's never saying "I love you" that's scary.....we say that to people all the time.....it's what HAPPENS after you say it that's scary.

Don't be afraid of change....Isaiah 43:2-3a....my favorite verse....look it up.....(just trying to help you with that read your bible part) :-)

Life changes and that's okay.....

Make time to do the things that matter....cause one day, you won't have the time to.

In relationships, never make the next relationship pay for what the last one did.....remember you're probably not someone's first significant other either, cut the newbie some slack.

Everybody's likes and dislikes are not going to be the same as others. The things that drive you won't be the same as the things that drive others.  No need to look down on other peoples interest as trivial because they don't make sense to you.  Not only is it annoying to them, it's also rude. Some people do things to get rich, some do it for the feeling of accomplishment.

Never be afraid to try again.

Enjoy your day and be blessed,

Roschelle



Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Friends for Life and Different Seasons

The topic of friendships has been on my mind for a while so in the spirit of that....here's the first blog of the year!!

Every now and then I look at the friends that I hang out with more often and the ones that I do not. While I still have great love and admiration for long time friends and remember a lot of the fun and serious times I've had with them, it is in no way diminished by my lack of attention now. So many times we have a tendency to think of same gender friends, but no this covers the gender gap.  I can think of guys that I've known for a long time (or a short time) and they have brought enrichment to me with their openness and honesty to me through our friendships the same way my female friends have.

Sometimes God gives you friends that you will experience certain things with, it does not make them more or less important then people you don't see anymore. When you are in an academic setting, God may give you people around you that know how to help keep you focused on school. People that will pull late nighters with you, go check out the new professors with you, help give you the moral support you need to get your degree. In a relationship setting, God may give you friends who have been through what you may experience in your own relationship with your significant other. In a religious setting, God will give you the friends that will help encourage you to recognize what your gifts are and to help you find a way to use them.  

So many times, people do what I did...they move out of the area and make new friends. When you move back though, you may not hang out with the same people you hung out with before. It's nice to know that even though you may not hang out with them as much as you used to that there is no love lost. So many times people assume that just because they don't see you anymore or that you don't spend time with them anymore that you feel that you have become better than them. That is not always the case. More times than not, we find ourselves wishing that we could spend more time with people we used to but because of whatever we have going on presently in our lives, we don't. It's not a matter of like and dislike it's a matter of priority and what we need to take care of to do things for ourselves. I know I have groups of girls who are wonderful, some I met as a young girl overseas and today I'm still close with them even though we don't talk everyday. There's another group of girls that I went to high school with and they're always on my mind even if we're not planning a last minute get together, but in all the celebrations and heartaches they go through I go through them as well. I remember going off to college in a town that I did not live in, not knowing a single person at the school and I made a group of friends there that I will never forget. Looking at where I am now I have a few girls that I hang out with and bounce ideas off of and make memories with but it does not discredit anything that my previous friends have poured into my life.

I can't speak on the specifics about the friends that God has given you, but I can encourage you to do this: don't let those who you don't see or talk to on a regular basis lose hope that you still hold them important. Everyone wants to know that they mean something to someone else and that they will not be forgotten. It may be a text message, a phone call, tweet, Facebook message or card. Everybody has their faults and I know mine is sometimes keeping in touch with people on a regular basis. I keep the phone numbers and emails and get so busy doing other things and I don't stop and take those few minutes to just send a hello. Most times when I do get back around talking to some of my friends, so much has happened since the previous time that we have to play catch up. But the joy of having real friends is that they don't ride you that they haven't seen you or heard from you in a very long time they just say , "hey girl I haven't seen (or talked to) you in forever..."  and then the next few minutes are spent on talking about what is going on in our lives.

If you find yourself thinking about why you haven't heard or seen some of your friends don't get upset with them.  If you have had no arguments, no disrespect, no unloving or inconsiderate moments, don't jump to conclusions. They may be going through something and they may be getting whatever support they need for that through someone else. Be happy for what you brought to their life, I'm sure they're happy for it. Just make a commitment to stay in communication with people more often that's all you can do... When someone crosses your mind, send a text, call them if you can...you'll both benefit from it. Friends are for life and for different seasons.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

True Friendships are Real

So many times we hear or think about people's loyalty and you would think that there would be nothing to limit how far their loyalty goes.  Sadly that is not the case....Most people have friendships with people where they may not talk to them everyday, and that is OKAY.  Lately, I have seen in some of my friendships or in my friends other friendships where people who say they are our true friends, act in ways that are contrary.  Some are new relationships while others are not. I can say this....someone who does something toward you that is not in your best interest is NOT your true friend.  For example, I have a WONDERFUL, AWESOME best friend named JESSICA.  Now I do have friends that I've known longer than her and friends that I've known much less than her that are also close, but none of them have the same bond that she and I share.  Now in the roughly 15 years that I've known her, we have been through a lot together and separately. Here's a shocker....we DON'T always agree on everything (although we do agree on a lot). But we instead have our "sounding board" moments. I know at any time of day or night that I can call or text her and she will be there for me....and that whatever she says is the most unbiased, honest answer that I could ask for.  She won't ever tell me something that is not in my best interest, even if it NOT what I want to hear.  If I'm about to make a questionably bad decision...or maybe even one that may not be the most efficient, she'll tell me....and chances are she'll sound a lot like my conscience. The same way she is with me, I am with her.

When someone becomes my friend, not an Instagram or Twitter follower or Facebook friend,  a bond is built that only few things can break it...dishonesty and envy are two of the biggest killers.  Side note: just because someone is my Facebook friend, that means that they are at least an acquaintance.  I have an extensive list of friends/acquaintances that I've known across a number of moves with my family and a long list of cousins who we all find it easier to FB stalk each other...and it's acceptable. When I think of how I WANT to be treated by my friends, I think of how I treat MY friends. If someone talks about me behind my back instead of to my face, that is hurtful and I in turn do not consider them a real friend, but maybe more of an acquaintance. If someone has some kind of dealing or arrangement with me and they don't hold up their end of it, I don't consider that person to be a real friend of mine. Real friends don't gossip about each other and they keep their word with each other. When someone has an arrangement with me and doesn't uphold it, or giving me a heads up about it, it shows that they could care less about the seriousness of it. If you take on the mentality of something not being a priority to you because it doesn't affect you directly (although it will affect a friend) that's not operating in someone else's best interest.  In those times, you (along with them) find a compromise.  For example, if Jessica is having a barbecue at her house and has asked me to bake a few desserts but then I go plan to go out of town leaving the morning of the event, it would not be right of me to just say "well I guess I won't do it, since I won't be there for it anyways." It's called: bake the night before or ahead of time and drop them off the morning of....Side note: if she's having a barbecue, I'm THERE!! haha.

True friends also don't use their friendships as stepping stones to "get more" out of life....that's what contacts are for.  There is a such thing as networking and having contacts, but if you treat your FRIENDSHIPS like that, your friends will see through that. If you have friends that actually don't mind being a networking source for you, remember it goes both ways....they're a contact for you and you are a contact for THEM.

Life happens, we get it.  But the joy of having real friends is that you have a bond with someone that GETS you....they understand you, they celebrate or hurt with you.  Not all friendships are the same either. I have friends that I've met through different events or hobby similarities and I am close to them in ways I'm not close to other friends.  We all have our shortcomings (just ask Jessica about my memory with exact birthdays) but we all ACCEPT them.  Now that DOESN'T mean that you just act as a bad friend and blame it on that's "just the way you are".  You try to CORRECT your hurtful actions (I personally found my Google calendar to be my best friend).  When you make it a point to treat your friends right, and not just enough to appease the situation but to REALLY do the right thing,  they will see that you are making an effort and will love you more for it.

TREAT YOUR FRIENDS WITH THE RESPECT AND LOVE YOU WOULD WANT AND YOU'LL SEE A DIFFERENCE...If you don't want to bother doing that, remove yourself from their lives, you will do them a favor of having to figure out that you're not a real friend and having to dismiss you politely (most of the time) from their lives.

*Now I'm not saying treat your close friends like royalty and your acquaintances like dirt....I'm just saying that you need to treat the people who are in your corner fighting for your best interest and good name right...and be there for them in the same fashion.

IF YOU HAVE NOT HAD A CHANCE TO CHECK OUT THIS GUY....DO IT......GREAT MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER!! http://trentshelton.com/

Wishing everyone success in all they put their hands to!! On that note, I am getting my Etsy store cleaned up and will be having a sale in the next few weeks! Stay tuned!! If you want to check out my store it's at www.etsy.com/shop/mindofaladybug

Friday, June 6, 2014

Random Thoughts for the day...just something to chew on......

Change.....

So many things can be summed up in that word.  Recently....well not just recently....maybe over the past 4 years or so, I've come to realize that what I do for my career is NOT my passion....sure, I'm good at it, I enjoy it, but it is not something that I rush home to sit and think about. :-) Instead, I pour over Pinterest, Google, Polyvore, Better Homes & Gardens, Craftgawker,Threads, Jewelry making magazines, JoAnn, Michael's, Home Depot, Lowe's and any other site that gives me tools, fabrics, paints that I can SOMEHOW turn into a masterpiece....all that is DEFINITELY not Technical Writing. I remember thinking years ago....when I was in my early 20's that I would much rather have a job I ENJOY, even if the pay isn't great. Now just a few years later (who's counting) I have the same opinion.  I would love to have a job I am passionate about that pays well enough to pay my bills, save/invest some and fund my passion. I have goals in sight and I definitely plan on fulfilling them, but my approach is a little different this time around. 

It's never to late.....for anything...

So many times we talk ourselves out of doing something because we claim "it's too late for _____". NEWSFLASH: It's not too late, unless you're dead...and if you're reading this, you still have a chance.
It's never too late to work towards a goal whether it's (in my case) a new career, running a marathon, mending relationships, becoming independent, giving back, paying it forward, WHATEVER you want to do.

When things change, you may sometimes find yourself frazzled, spent, numb, completely depleted of ALL energy....take your time.....recoup, rethink your "plan of attack" then proceed. Sometimes we find ourselves in those positions because we doubt our own abilities...which is just plain old self sabotage. If you are indeed good at something, have the guts to recognize that and not downplay or run from it. Many times we do this if it's something we've never had formal training in. Think of it this way....God gives us talents....not the universities or schools we've graduated from.  While they can teach us, they can't put in us what God gave us....

That is all for today....I hope you all have a wonderful day!

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

The Gift of Inspiration


When you find yourself inspired, be inspiring to others...Inspiration is the gift that keep on giving...you inspire others when you act on inspiration.

Over the past few years whether it's in music, jewelry, clothing, written pieces, building/construction or photography, I have found myself pouring over the works of others.  The way they see, sculpt, build, explain or construct things, I will never understand it all; at the same time, it taps into my inquisitive side.  Many Saturday and Sunday afternoons I have spent trolling Pinterest, magazine flipping or window shopping for my imaginary (future) home. Don't keep it to yourself....as you express yourself, you show others that there is nothing wrong with self-expression, it's okay to be different.  But don't think for a moment that you don't have a choice whether your self-expression is good or bad. While you can't control how people interpret it, you can control the message you put out. USE IT FOR GOOD...There is nothing more inspiring than to have someone come and tell you at a later time that what you did, say, communicated touched them in a personal way that made them want to do better or do more for others.

I have my goals....I have my agendas.....I have my tools.......my God given abilities.....and I have my love of DIY....I have my support system.....and I always have my inspiration, even if I don't know what to do with it..scribble down the first thing that comes to mind. Sit on it, think on it, sleep on it.....but don't let it go to waste...

GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE! Stroll around, assemble something with different textiles, talk to people with different views, visit antique stores, snap pics using ALL the filters in your camera app...I mean it....you have do something different to get different results...who knows? You may find inspiration along the way...don't keep it to yourself!!!!


Sunday, April 13, 2014

Lip Service is over....

Okay, so I'm setting the record straight about certain things....This is my blog, so this is my vent...my rant...mine.  If you don't like it, feel free to email, text, call me and air your grievance but I will say now that it won't make much difference, you have your opinion, I have mine.  I have been taught and try to practice not saying anything out of anger and to think things over before speaking....that's why this blog is just NOW being put out...To all of you that read my blogs but have never met me in person....you already know that I'm not a typically angry person... :-) For those of you who HAVE met me in person...you already know how I am...patient...but not a pushover....

I'm done with constantly having to rely on your lip services....Lip service doesn't pay.  Why is it that you find it so hard to just follow through or do the right thing? Not by your judgement, but by God's? Yes, there are times where a mouth stays shut to give one the benefit of doubt to get themselves together but there are times when one has to call things out.  When I don't speak it's not always because I'm unaware of what you do, but because I'm hoping you find the road to right, the guidance of the Holy Spirit to do right.

From day one, I had always strove to be the good wife, perfect wife, but that didn't seem to be enough...I tried anything and everything I knew to save my marriage.  I supported everything you wanted to pursue in the ministry but outside of our own church life, you always tried to look like you had no marital attachments..I would leave "good morning" or "I love you" notes and you would remove them as if you were ashamed of being married, but any other female could leave notes about whatever she wanted on your page and that was okay....Does this mean I was always the best I could be? NO...but I can NEVER be accused of CHEATING, breaking my vows...I put your needs ahead of my own and most of the time where did that leave me? Alone, by myself while everyone else thought things were fine.  We both went through dealing with the other's bad behaviors, but I never sought approval or comfort from the arms or voice of another man....not my Pastor, not my dad, not my brother, not my friends...The only man I could go to was God. I was even at the point where I didn't want another man to touch me, even to the point of shaking my hand....the only person I wanted TO touch me was my husband...THAT was a low point for me...

Whether through staying overactive in church to have no time for your family or always claiming you needed time alone so you could text, call, Facebook your conversational side pieces to vent or get some pillow talk on with, you never took your marital vows seriously. I remember when you thought it was okay to flirt and post inappropriate comments on females pictures where all your friends and mine could see and claim it was okay because you had known them for years...then try to make me feel bad saying you were counseling them or they needed a guys perspective.....meanwhile, other family and friends of yours and mine are calling, texting, questioning me about the same comments about who these chicks are....smh...

Maybe we were both in love with the idea of being in love and being married......although we were friends, that friendship wasn't enough to build a marriage on. I always found it aggravating on how you would be quick to dismiss close friends or pastors giving Godly advice as if you knew how to better handle it.... "it's between me and my wife" you would tell others.."we're working it out" you would say....that was crap...you would say that to get them off your back...You heard but never listened or applied....I applied what I could but had to face it that i was married to someone who didn't care about me or our marriage.

I look back on it all and think maybe i should have said no, but I've learned a lot about myself through this marriage and divorce....I've learned your lip service is lost on me.

How am I expected to believe anything from a person who carried on an affair for about 6 months during our first year and a half of being married, making the same marital promises to another woman that were made to me when we were engaged? A woman who had no knowledge you were married...even asked you if you were married or involved and you always replied no...  Then when given the chance to get your act together and focus on saving your marriage, you go and cheat again...no not physically again....but through conversation, phone calls, relationship promises....telling females that we were "going through a divorce" or that you're not married....again.  Meanwhile, I'm under the assumption that we were working it out (but were just struggling at it).  Once again lip service lost....telling me and them the same "I love you" lies.  NEVER in my life had I felt so gullible....so low.....so betrayed....

Forget me being your spouse, we were supposed to be friends first and last time I checked friends never treated each other like this...lying blatantly to my face. But the moment I felt strongest and most scared was when I decided to leave.  I was never raised or taught to be someone's doormat or to put up with being lied to...or doing me wrong.  Lip service lost again.

Now while moving on, I've learned to not be bitter, but at the same time, there is a time to be justifiably angry.  I've been there already more times than I can count...to the point that I didn't wish you any physical harm....but to your belongings, they could all go up in flames and I wouldn't have been the slightest bit concerned. Even with as mad as I was, I always pushed for everything to be fair, unlike what you tried to make everyone think.  My true friends know me to be fair and that is how I dealt with you...but seriously, you must have lost your mind to think that I was going to pay for your bad choices....

I let you purchase a truck in my name only for you to return it to me claiming you didn't feel responsible to finish paying for it and couldn't afford it....only to return in a brand new model of the same vehicle...hmm...God sure can work some miracle...Then you expect to leave me with a load of debt and a stack of tickets that you don't feel obligated to pay for...because why? You just didn't feel like you should have to..hmmmm must be nice to get over on folk that try to help you when they don't have to.

As we went through our divorce you tried your best to make me sound like the out of control, crazy ex...I'm so glad that people got to know the real me...they can see straight through your lip service you give them about me. More lip service lost. If I was as active as you are in church, I would have had to step down from things to get my life together, even though the marriage was beyond repair.  My life would need more attention than what it appears you gave yours. I stepped down from responsibilities, ministries and eventually the church because I couldn't take seeing you continue to do as you always had before, with no sense of remorse.  But that brings to mind you telling me that I wear my heart on my sleeve too much, that I don't always have to let people know what I feel...that's true...but that's like telling someone who's husband beat them to not limp or be sore in public (DISCLAIMER: My ex NEVER laid a hand on me in anger....NEVER....that would have been his last day alive or at least his last day of freedom)...if I slept alone the whole week and barely had conversation and was sad about it, good luck on getting my happy face to show up when we got to church. Did I want to leave the church? No, not completely, but I no longer viewed you as a man of God, but a disruption to the solace I sought in worship.

I will say this: I don't know who you are anymore, I don't want to know either.  You can think that everything I do from here out is personal...but no...it's me doing due diligence. I am treating you the same as any other person I have to settle grievances with. At this point, it's ALL business.

I have no desire to put up with the lip service you give to try to keep up your image at your job or at church. At this point, if you couldn't tell already, I don't care to cover your behavior. You won't pay debt you owe, but you can spend top dollar to go to revivals? Something is backwards...God tells you to take care of tithes, personal/home business....but nowhere does it say to cheat others so you can look good.  Does this mean that my actions are perfect? NO, absolutely not...I'm not proud to say it, but for a good while of going through my divorce when I first moved out, I spent more nights at home, buzzed or drunk because I didn't feel like having to deal with emotional pain...yes I did and that was the lowest I'd ever felt.....but then I realized that's definitely not the road I wanted to take...So I threw myself into my crafts, my jewelry anything healthy to take my mind off it....and found that I had a passion for it. I'd spend most of the day now looking forward to getting home so I could get into more creations... But what I can say is that I'm honest with people about my feelings...and I'm honest with myself about my flaws.

Have I moved on? YES. But that doesn't mean that I don't have an opinion or anything to vent and get off my chest. I am a stronger person, not afraid of failure...not afraid to love someone again....

Say what you want, call me whatever name in the world makes you feel better about it....my character will speak for me..it may be flawed, but I own it..and strive now to make it better.  I am moving on and setting out to accomplish things that I have put on the back burner for the past 5 years.  For once in a long time, I'm HAPPY with where I am and where I'm headed and there's nothing about you that can take that from me.

The Roschelle you met in your early 20's is grown, the Roschelle you married is gone, the Roschelle you deal with now is as good as you will ever get from me.

If you only remember one thing about me, make it this: I wish you God's will for your life....and that is NOT lip service.


Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Jesus is the Best Dentist

So we go to the dentist for cleanings, fillings and other orthodontic work….well Jesus is better…..


We go to the dentist for regular cleanings, they take care to look at all the trouble spots that we need to address soon and others that may be potential issues in the future. Well when we are regularly in tune with God and the body of Christ (this includes attending church) God uses praise and worship/music ministry and the sermons to touch our hearts to address the trouble spots we have in our lives whether it’s our behavior, attitude or lifestyle. The same way that a dentist examines all of the mouth, looking at glands and such, not just the teeth, God not only addresses us, but he examines all we deal with, it’s not about having one part right and everything else lacking. God is checking out our friends, family, jobs, hobbies, clubs and activities. We are told that we need to floss and brush our teeth and to use mouthwash….This can mean fasting and having a deeper prayer life than saying grace or praying just in times of trouble. A washing of the Holy Spirit can come through praying for and receiving a renewing of the Holy Spirit to guide us.

When a dentist finds that we have cavities that need to be filled, they will clean out the area then patch up the tooth so that it looks normal but is guarded against continual decay. God does the same for us. When we sin, we can repent to him (letting him fill us with what we need to fortify our spirits and ourselves) and He has the ability to patch us up to build us up so that we are ready to live how we should for him. But when a dentist finds a tooth that is so decayed that it cannot be patched, a root canal is done and a crown is placed in its spot. We sometimes get ourselves into situations where we hit rock bottom and there is no way out but for God to completely turn our lives upside down to rid us of what we have held onto for so long. When articles stick in between teeth or on teeth for too long, they start to decay the teeth….when we have issues or sin that we refuse to let go of, it decays our souls. Yes, teeth that are in need of repair are still usable, we can still use them to eat, but their condition continues to worsen, the same way that we can still function partially in the body of Christ and do work in our local communities and churches, but our lives, our souls continue to become weaker and more desolate. The same way the tooth is completely emptied of all that is in it, we have to WILLINGLY let God do the same with us…..clean us OUT, remove EVERYTHING…..and fill us with HIM. With the crown (new tooth) being put in place of the old one, God gives us a new look on life, a new drive to do what He wills.

In some cases where some may have to get dentures or wear partials, consider those to be our support groups. We don’t have to have them, but with them, things are so much easier to do. We can find the support we need from family, friends or even other outside groups. When it comes to dental assistants that help out the dentist, don’t think that God forgets about us there either. He surrounds us with people: who love and care about us to tell us the truth in LOVE, who will hold our hand when we can’t hold our heads up, who will push us to remain honest, who genuinely care enough about us to get mad at us for doing something that doesn’t help us become better people. I can’t speak for everyone else, but I KNOW God has placed some of those people in my life and to all the ones that I don’t have deep relationships with, I don’t discount the sincerity of their conversations. Those are like the commercials that we see reminding us about our dental hygiene, toothpaste, mouthwash or other dental needs.

We can attempt to tend to all of our dental needs (spiritual growth) ourselves, but in this case, Jesus is the best dentist.