Monday, April 19, 2010

Love is a choice

Love is a choice. Too many times we say we fall in love but that’s not true….we may fall into “like” but not love….when we like something we don’t have to have a relationship with it or really define why we like it, we just do. We can choose not to like something at the drop of a hat and it’s not a major choice that affects many things. When we choose to love something or someone, we choose to accept it whether we like it/them or not. Take example, in marriage, you choose to love someone given the fact you know you won’t like the disappointments that they will cause you. Look at the meaning of both words:


• to be suitable or agreeable to
• to feel attraction toward or take pleasure in : enjoy ; to feel toward : regard
• to wish to have : want
• to do well in


• strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests b : an assurance of love
• warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion
• a : the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration b (1) : a beloved person : DARLING —often used as a term of endearment (2) British —used as an informal term of address
• a : unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1) : the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2) : brotherly concern for others b : a person's adoration of God

*Definitions from Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary (

You can see that like is a shallow emotion that just skims the surface and is based on just desire, nothing else….love is based on affection or concern and can affect us at the deepest level of our emotions. As said before, when we love someone/something, we will be disappointed by them/it at some time. Why? Cause that’s how life is….there is no earthly love that is perfect and how we handle difficult situations can put our character on blast…

When it comes to difficulties of having the loving attitude, all it takes is that one thing to tick us off and turn us into the emotional version of the Incredible Hulk. We have to remember that when we make ourselves available to love we make ourselves susceptible to disappointing those that love us also….we cannot be too harsh on people because that would be like imposing a double standard. Don’t get me wrong, there is a difference in being firm and being harsh. Many times we have to be firm with people so they know our limits, but we don’t have to be a tyrant when it comes to dealing with sensitive issues.

If we have been wronged, the level of our love may or may not drop although our level of respect or trust may have been lost partially or completely. When we have the underlying commitment to love, it helps those other qualities build up quicker than if we didn’t love to begin with.

Love like there's no tomorrow, cause tomorrow's not promised......