So, in the past few months life has been hectic. I will say this....there is nothing like some personal crisis to make you re-evaluate your relationship with God. I have seen firsthand where when the Devil cannot get to you, he will attack those close to you, whether it be immediate family, in-laws, or your spouse. I have looked back on some of the not so wise decisions I made in college or while single, and I remember how at the time, they seemed to be great decisions...not so much anymore. (What WAS I thinking?) I have seen in my family, how other's bad decisions have affected their lives (and mine in the process). I have now been married 2 years and 4 months and thanks to certain restrictions from employers (lol), we're STILL newlyweds :-) Being married is a CHALLENGE....whoever disagrees must have married a clone of themselves...(this is the point where all married couples nod in agreement) GOD has been the glue for my marriage, and also for my peace of mind. With my husband and I having to carry on our lives miles apart, the Devil has certainly had his share of opportunities to break us up. Has he tried??? CERTAINLY.......That question should read, "WHEN has he NOT tried?"
I have found that the path to choosing forgiveness when you do not think it should be granted is paved not smoothly, but with cobblestones. Those cobblestones can be circumstances, haters or over zealous family, friends and acquaintances that do not want to stand idly by watching their loved one get hurt. When faced with making lifechanging decisions, I had to do what I had been doing from the jump....wait on God. Now that does not mean that I just did nothing. I took care of myself and business that needed my attention, but when it came to certain things, I had to let God do what he wanted to do....I could not rush anything. I had to be sure to dot all my i's and cross all my t's...I had to live in such a way that would bring glory to God and not myself. God teaches us to be faithful in all things, not just the big things.
Bluntly, in my mind I had thought so many things and made up my mind time and time again....but I could never accept one of those as being God's will for my life....so what did I do? Continue to wait on him. Now looking back on the decision to listen to God and not my own reasoning, I see that it was for a reason. As I continue to grow in this "new" area of leaning on God in my marriage, it lessens the expectations I have of my husband because I remember that God works on his life the same way He works on mine. I understand that both of us are two separate personalities, with separate hobbies, likes, dislikes and areas of ministry. On the other hand, we both have our own vices, downfalls, and triggers.
In my own words, all great marriages, comes with their share of growing pains and when both people are committed to something that they believe in and they keep God at the head, then it is more than possible for marriages to be successful. You stay in something if it is worth it....and anything that GOD ordains IS worth it. I am not saying this for me.....but I know that someone else needs to hear that it is not just them.....and it will get better....one way or another.....stay in the presence of God......