Tuesday, August 5, 2014

True Friendships are Real

So many times we hear or think about people's loyalty and you would think that there would be nothing to limit how far their loyalty goes.  Sadly that is not the case....Most people have friendships with people where they may not talk to them everyday, and that is OKAY.  Lately, I have seen in some of my friendships or in my friends other friendships where people who say they are our true friends, act in ways that are contrary.  Some are new relationships while others are not. I can say this....someone who does something toward you that is not in your best interest is NOT your true friend.  For example, I have a WONDERFUL, AWESOME best friend named JESSICA.  Now I do have friends that I've known longer than her and friends that I've known much less than her that are also close, but none of them have the same bond that she and I share.  Now in the roughly 15 years that I've known her, we have been through a lot together and separately. Here's a shocker....we DON'T always agree on everything (although we do agree on a lot). But we instead have our "sounding board" moments. I know at any time of day or night that I can call or text her and she will be there for me....and that whatever she says is the most unbiased, honest answer that I could ask for.  She won't ever tell me something that is not in my best interest, even if it NOT what I want to hear.  If I'm about to make a questionably bad decision...or maybe even one that may not be the most efficient, she'll tell me....and chances are she'll sound a lot like my conscience. The same way she is with me, I am with her.

When someone becomes my friend, not an Instagram or Twitter follower or Facebook friend,  a bond is built that only few things can break it...dishonesty and envy are two of the biggest killers.  Side note: just because someone is my Facebook friend, that means that they are at least an acquaintance.  I have an extensive list of friends/acquaintances that I've known across a number of moves with my family and a long list of cousins who we all find it easier to FB stalk each other...and it's acceptable. When I think of how I WANT to be treated by my friends, I think of how I treat MY friends. If someone talks about me behind my back instead of to my face, that is hurtful and I in turn do not consider them a real friend, but maybe more of an acquaintance. If someone has some kind of dealing or arrangement with me and they don't hold up their end of it, I don't consider that person to be a real friend of mine. Real friends don't gossip about each other and they keep their word with each other. When someone has an arrangement with me and doesn't uphold it, or giving me a heads up about it, it shows that they could care less about the seriousness of it. If you take on the mentality of something not being a priority to you because it doesn't affect you directly (although it will affect a friend) that's not operating in someone else's best interest.  In those times, you (along with them) find a compromise.  For example, if Jessica is having a barbecue at her house and has asked me to bake a few desserts but then I go plan to go out of town leaving the morning of the event, it would not be right of me to just say "well I guess I won't do it, since I won't be there for it anyways." It's called: bake the night before or ahead of time and drop them off the morning of....Side note: if she's having a barbecue, I'm THERE!! haha.

True friends also don't use their friendships as stepping stones to "get more" out of life....that's what contacts are for.  There is a such thing as networking and having contacts, but if you treat your FRIENDSHIPS like that, your friends will see through that. If you have friends that actually don't mind being a networking source for you, remember it goes both ways....they're a contact for you and you are a contact for THEM.

Life happens, we get it.  But the joy of having real friends is that you have a bond with someone that GETS you....they understand you, they celebrate or hurt with you.  Not all friendships are the same either. I have friends that I've met through different events or hobby similarities and I am close to them in ways I'm not close to other friends.  We all have our shortcomings (just ask Jessica about my memory with exact birthdays) but we all ACCEPT them.  Now that DOESN'T mean that you just act as a bad friend and blame it on that's "just the way you are".  You try to CORRECT your hurtful actions (I personally found my Google calendar to be my best friend).  When you make it a point to treat your friends right, and not just enough to appease the situation but to REALLY do the right thing,  they will see that you are making an effort and will love you more for it.

TREAT YOUR FRIENDS WITH THE RESPECT AND LOVE YOU WOULD WANT AND YOU'LL SEE A DIFFERENCE...If you don't want to bother doing that, remove yourself from their lives, you will do them a favor of having to figure out that you're not a real friend and having to dismiss you politely (most of the time) from their lives.

*Now I'm not saying treat your close friends like royalty and your acquaintances like dirt....I'm just saying that you need to treat the people who are in your corner fighting for your best interest and good name right...and be there for them in the same fashion.

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Wishing everyone success in all they put their hands to!! On that note, I am getting my Etsy store cleaned up and will be having a sale in the next few weeks! Stay tuned!! If you want to check out my store it's at www.etsy.com/shop/mindofaladybug